How to address a married couple on a wedding invitation

With all the pieces included in a wedding stationery set, it might be easy to overlook the envelopes. But according to Deborah Lau-Yu, founder of Palettera Custom Correspondences, envelopes (and the way you address them) can say a lot about the tone of your wedding.

"A lot of people want to save money, and yes, that's important," Lau-Yu says. "You can try to print the envelopes yourself, but home printers aren't perfect. If you spent money on your invitations, it can cheapen them if you have a label that's shifted," she adds. This is why Lau-Yu recommends that couples have their envelopes professionally addressed in typography or calligraphy by their stationery designer. "When it's printed in beautiful script or font, it shows something special," she explains.

The details of how your envelopes are printed are just as important as what is printed. Lau-Yu tells couples that the most important thing is to always be intentional when it comes to addressing their guests. "Weddings are sacred things," she says. "Having your envelopes properly labelled conveys respect, properness and sacredness."

Here are some tips to keep in mind when addressing your invitations:

• If inviting an entire household, list all the names on the envelope. This means that if you're not inviting children, their names won't be on the envelope. "It's also the aesthetic consideration," says Lau-Yu. "It looks really nice to have all the names printed on the envelope, if possible."
• If you don't know the proper title or last name someone uses, ask them. "It's important to be sensitive," Lau-Yu says. Taking the time to asks the guests shows you care about them.
• Go with the more modern way of addressing a couple. Instead of saying, "Mr and Mrs. Peter Chan," say "Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Amy Chan."
• Ditch the traditional double envelopes. Outer envelopes and inner envelopes were used during the days letters were sent by messengers to keep the contents safe. But nowadays, this isn't necessary. "If the invitation is well-built and the envelope has scuff marks, it's a part of its history of how it travelled," says Lau-Yu.

When in doubt, ask your stationery designer for advice on how you should address your envelopes. Couples usually go through their guest list to specify the envelope labeling to their stationery designer. Palettera, for example, gives couples a template to use as a guideline when they're choosing how to label their envelopes. "With all the junk mail we get, printing a name on an envelope is not seen as precious," Lau-Yu says. "When you have something with your own name printed beautifully, it shows something special."

Here are some examples of templates you can use for addressing your envelopes:

For a married couple using different names: Put the names on two separate lines, alphabetically. Mrs. Jane Doe Mr. John Smith

For a married couple using the same last name: Put the names on one line, acknowledging both first names. Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Amy Chan

For an unmarried couple living in the same household: Put the names on two separate lines. Mr. Jason Diaz Ms. Ella Jones

For a family living in the same household, with children under 18: Mr. and Mrs. Todd and Lily Woods and children or Write the children's names out in order of birth. Mr. and Mrs. Todd and Lily Woods Miss Danielle Woods Mr. Ryder Woods or If inviting the entire family, or if it is a large family where the names would not fit on the envelope, write: The Woods Family

For a family living in the same household, with children over 18: Give the parents and each child over 18 their own invitations and address them individually. or Send one invitation addressing the whole family.

For a family living in the same household, with some children under 18 and some over 18: Give the parents and the children under 18 a separate invitation from the children over 18. Mr. and Mrs. Derek and Aliya Mohan Miss Aisha Mohan And a separate invitation for Mr. Ian Mohan or One invitation for the whole family.

Your wedding invitations are formal invitations and must be written with great care. The invitations hold the power of the first impression of your wedding. So give the task its time, start early and do not rush it.

Here are some guidelines to help you with the task;

Always address persons by their correct title.  For example Mr., Miss or Mrs.

Ms. is the correct title to use when a woman’s marriage status does not need to be disclosed. Ms. is ideal when addressing a widow or a divorcee. Nicknames and abbreviations should not be used. Below is a list of courtesy titles most commonly used.

In this example the guest’s name is Kevin Borg and his wife is Mary Borg.  In some cases we use Mary’s maiden surname, Falzon, as an example of a woman who kept her maiden surname.

Inv and Env stand for Invitation and Envelope respectively.

Please Note: This information is for general guidelines only. Please consult your wedding invitations’ supplier / printer in case of difficulty.

Married Couple

Inv: Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Borg
Env: Mrs. K. Borg

(Whilst the above format is the correct way of addressing any invitation envelope according to proper etiquette, many persons are not used to it. You might prefer to use the more common format –
Env: Mr and Mrs. K Borg)

Married Couple and their Children

Inv: Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Borg and Family
Env: Mrs. K. Borg

Married Couple – Wife kept her maiden surname

Inv: Mr Kevin Borg and Mrs Mary Falzon
Env: Mrs. M. Falzon

Husband is a doctor (MD)

Inv: Doctor Kevin Borg &  Mrs. Borg
Env: Mrs. K. Borg

Wife is a doctor (MD)

Inv: Mr.Kevin Borg and Doctor Mary Borg
Env: Doctor Mary Borg

Wife is a doctor (MD) – kept maiden surname

Inv: Mr.Kevin Borg and Doctor Mary Falzon
Env: Doctor Mary Falzon

Husband is a Lawyer

Inv: Dr. Kevin Borg &  Mrs. Borg
Env: Mrs. K. Borg

Wife is a Lawyer

Inv: Mr.Kevin Borg and Dr.Mary Borg
Env: Dr. Mary Borg

Wife is a Lawyer – kept maiden surname

Inv: Mr.Kevin Borg and Dr.Mary Falzon BA LLD
Env: Dr. Mary Falzon

Married couple, both Doctors

Inv: Drs. Kevin and Mary Borg
or
Inv: Dr. Kevin Borg and Dr.Mary Borg
Env: Dr. Mary Borg

Married couple, both Doctors (kept maiden surname)

Inv: Drs. Kevin and Mary Borg
or
Inv: Dr. Kevin Borg and Dr. Mary Falzon
Env: Dr. Mary Falzon

Husband is a Judge

Inv: The Hon. Mr. Justice Kevin Borg & Mrs. Borg
Env: Mrs. K Borg  (Mrs. M. Falzon if she kept her maiden surname)

Husband is a Lieutenant

Inv: Lieutenant Kevin Borg and Mrs. Borg
or
Inv: Lieutenant and Mrs. Kevin Borg

Env: Mrs. K. Borg (Mrs. Mary Falzon if she kept her maiden surname)

Wife is a Lieutenant

Inv: Mr. Kevin Borg and Lieutenant Mary Borg
Env: Lieutenant Mary Borg (Lieutenant Mary Falzon if she kept her maiden surname)

Husband is a Major

Inv: Major Kevin Borg and Mrs. Borg
or
Inv: Major and Mrs. Kevin Borg
Env: Mrs. Kevin Borg (Mrs. Mary Falzon if she kept her maiden surname)

Wife is a Major

Inv: Mr. Kevin Borg and Mayor Mary Borg
Env: Mayor Mary Borg (Mayor Mary Falzon if she kept her maiden surname)

Unmarried couple living together

Inv: Miss Mary Falzon, Mr. Kevin Borg
Env: Miss Mary Falzon

Divorced female (kept maiden surname)

Inv: Ms. Mary Borg
Env: Ms. Mary Borg

Divorced female (reclaimed maiden surname)

Inv: Ms. Mary Falzon
Env: Ms. Mary Falzon

Woman is a widow

Inv: Mrs. Mary Borg
Env: Mrs. Mary Borg

Unmarried female (and boyfriend/guest)

Inv: Miss Mary Falzon
or
Inv: Miss Mary Falzon and boyfriend
or
Inv: Miss Mary Falzon and guest

Env: Miss Mary Falzon

Sisters living together

Inv: Ms. Mary Falzon and Ms. Anna Falzon
Env: Misses Mary and Anna Falzon (use ‘Messrs’ instead of ‘Misses’ for males)

Sisters living together, one is a widow

Inv: Mrs Mary Borg and Ms Anna Falzon
Env: Misses Mary and Anna Falzon

Friends living together

Inv: Miss Mary Borg and Miss Anna Falzon
Env: Misses Mary and Anna Falzon (use ‘Messrs’ instead of ‘Misses’ for males)

Clergy male

Inv: Fr. Kevin Borg
Env: The Rev. Kevin Borg

Teenage girl under 18 years

Inv: Mary Falzon or Miss Mary Falzon
Env: Miss Mary Falzon

Teenage boy under 18 years

Inv: Kevin Borg or Master Kevin Borg
Env: Master Kevin Borg

‘Children’ over 18 years:

Inv: Mr. Kevin Borg (or Miss Mary Falzon)
Env: Mr. Kevin Borg (or Miss Mary Falzon)
(a separate invitation should be sent to children over 18 years old even if they still live with their parents)

Do you put the husband or wife's name first?

How do you write names on a wedding invitation?

How do you address a wedding invitation with multiple names?

Do you have to put Mr and Mrs on wedding invitations?