When a guy doesn't make an effort, he doesn't like you. Time to face the facts.
Too often, we complicate how to figure out if someone likes us or not. We analyze texts with our friends, stalk our crush's social media, and Google our questions to death to find answers in articles such as this one.
Trying to find hard evidence that the dude we’re into is just as into us is more difficult than it would be to just cut our losses and wait for a relationship with a guy who’s more clear.
While there are always exceptions, when a guy doesn't make an effort, it's because he's not interested.
RELATED: The 10 Biggest Mistakes Men Make In Relationships
Like most things in life, I don’t think you should have to try that hard to find love. If you’re working extra hard to make something happen, then it’s probably not going to happen.
Relationships aren’t born out of forced interaction and playing games — mind games, that is. Falling in love is usually a lot simpler than it seems.
You don’t have to conduct some grand experiment to see if a guy likes you. All you have to do is pay attention to his actions.
If a guy is interested in getting to know you, then he’s going to try to get to know you.
RELATED: If You Do These 10 Things You're Headed Toward Lasting Love (Yay!)
He’ll ask you questions, make an effort to keep up the conversation, and remember what you told him.
And more importantly, he’ll make an effort to hang out in real life.
There won’t be canceled plans or last-minute bails if he’s into you. He’ll set up a time and day and follow through. He won’t waste your time because he actually respects it.
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So if you’re losing sleep trying to figure out why this guy acts like he like you when he sees you out at the bar on the weekends, but never texts you during the week, let me help you: he doesn’t.
Let’s just say if he’s doing anything that makes you question the fact that he doesn’t like you, then he doesn’t like you.
And if that’s the case, let it go. Don’t hold on or spend too much time questioning why.
Cut your losses and wait around for someone who’s willing to put in the time and effort you deserve.
When he’s not making an effort, just give up. He doesn’t owe you anything because he never asked you out, so why are you obsessing?
Some people want to know why guys stop making an effort when they never really made an effort in the first place.
A relationship is a give and take, and a guy who is interested will do both of those things.
You’re not making all the effort if there’s no chance of a relationship, sorry.
RELATED: 15 Signs You're Stuck In A Soul-Sucking, Toxic Relationship
Emily Blackwood is an editor at YourTango who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships and everything in between.
As women, we’ve all been there:
The relationship starts off beautifully. He’s an amazing guy who does everything he can to treat you like a princess…
But eventually, things start to change.
He no longer takes you out on fun dates.
He no longer texts you to say “I love you.”
And he may even start to say and do things that are hurtful…
Why does this happen?
Well, it’s not like your relationship wasn’t great a few weeks before. And it sure as heck isn’t something you’ve done.
In fact, you might feel like they’ve done everything they can to make him happy. But in the end, it wasn’t enough for him anymore…
Why Do Guys Stop Putting In Effort – The Top 10 Reasons Revealed
Here’s the truth:
Guys stop putting effort into a relationship because of a few specific “triggers” that take his attention away from you, and causes him to lose interest.
As international relationship experts, we’ve seen this time and time again.
The good thing is: Once you identify exactly WHY he stopped putting effort into your relationship, it’s actually pretty easy to fix it.
In fact, we’ve already helped thousands of women around the world do the same.
Today, we’re going to reveal to you the 10 most common reasons why guys stop putting effort into a relationship.
Later in the article, we’ll also share with you exactly how to get him to put in more effort and make you a priority in his life.
You’ll be surprised at how the smallest things can turn off a guy and make him pull away from you.
So read through this list carefully, and see if any of them sound familiar:
Reason 1: His Attention Is In The Wrong Place
Let’s face it: Guys have short attention spans.
And if you don’t keep his focus on you, his eyes might start wondering to other things… Or even other women!
When a man’s attention drifts away from the relationship, he’ll quickly become bored and stop putting in effort into it.
Think about it this way:
If you walk past a flashy billboard, it’s only natural for you to stop whatever you’re doing and stare at it for a bit.
And it will be hard for you to focus on something else until you’ve seen all of it.
In a relationship, this is the same way.
Your guy’s attention will be drawn to his phone, magazines, or even other people…
And once he’s caught by one of these things, you might find it hard to get his attention back on you.
Let’s be clear here: This has nothing to do with how old you are, or what you look like.
In fact, even if you were a supermodel, his focus could still drift away if he gets bored and something comes along to steal his attention.
It’s all about keeping his affection and attention on you.
And if you do all the right things, you can easily “lock-in” his devotion so that he doesn’t pay attention to anyone but YOU.
(Be sure to check out our handy guide to learn exactly how to do this)
Reason 2: He’s Busy
When a guy stops putting effort into a relationship, his girlfriend can start to really worry that he’s fallen out of love…
But in reality, you could be overthinking it too.
In many cases, he could simply be busy with work or other commitments.
Perhaps a family friend is in need, and he’s busy helping them out. Or maybe he’s been working on a project at work, and it’s taking all his attention away from you.
Regardless of what it is, this should NOT be an excuse for him to neglect you completely.
In fact, you should be his top priority. You deserve his complete devotion.
And if he’s neglecting you for work, it’s time to sit him down and let him know that you’re more important than his job.
The key is not to get confrontational about it.
Instead, reach out to hear his side of the story first. Try to understand WHY he’s busy.
At the same time, make it clear that you feel neglected and unloved as a result. Open up to him about how his coldness makes you feel.
You might be surprised to learn that he might not even realize he’s doing this. And by telling him how you really feel, you can encourage him to give you the love and affection that you deserve.
Reason 3: You’ve Become Too Dependent On Him
Here’s an often overlooked reason for why guys stop putting effort into a relationship:
Guys can start to feel like their girlfriends are trying to control them when they become too dependent on them.
This can put a lot of pressure on him. And this can really turn him off.
If he can’t handle the pressure, he will start to feel like you’re too pushy or controlling.
Not only will this kill off any good feelings he has for you, but it might even make him feel resentful.
So what’s the best way to avoid this problem?
It’s simple: Just reserve some time for yourself.
Self-love is important, whether or not you’re in a relationship. So while it’s important to love him, don’t make him into your entire world.
Be sure to see your friends and family regularly. Devote some time to your hobbies and interests. And take care of your physical and mental health too.
In other words, take good care of yourself and make sure you’re an all-round healthy individual. This way, he will want to spend more time with you too!
Reason 4: He’s Met Another Woman
This is one of the most common reasons for why a guy stops caring about you.
Simply put, he might have met someone else. And if there is another woman in his heart, he will no longer give you the time and attention that you deserve.
Obviously, you cannot count on him to be honest about this. So this will be hard to detect at first. In fact, he might even be in denial at first.
But if you find that he’s becoming distant and he seems distracted, you might have to dig a bit deeper to see if his heart is truly with another person.
Watch out for signs of another woman in his life, such as him spending lots of time on his phone texting someone else, or being vague with his plans when he’s not with you.
Once again, confronting him directly with this is not a good idea. Whatever you do, do not rush to conclusions.
Instead, you should try to connect with him and seek to understand WHY he’s losing interest in you. Having an open heart is very important for healing a relationship.
(Click here to grab our free guide on how to “lock-in” a man’s devotion and make him love you and ONLY you)
Reason 5: He Takes You For Granted
Here’s an important fact that you must know about relationships:
It doesn’t matter how deeply in love he is with you. If you spoil him and let him have his way all the time, he may just stop caring about you forever.
As a woman, there’s a good chance that you put him first and try your best to make him happy.
And that’s not a bad thing at all! You’re a kind soul with a big heart, so it’s only natural for you to want to please him.
However, it might be possible that your man has taken advantage of your kindness and generosity, even if he didn’t mean to.
When you are constantly trying to please him, he won’t have to work hard to make you happy. So he stops trying altogether.
Think about it this way:
If he gets whatever he wants from you all the time, he will naturally stop putting effort into the relationship.
And without any effort on his part, he just might stop caring about you altogether.
Instead, you want him the CHASE you!
Here’s what I mean…
As a woman, you deserve a man who will treat you like the most special girl in his world.
You need to turn the tables on him, such that HE is the one who is constantly trying to please you, and doing everything he can to make you happy.
Because once you get him to start chasing you, you will never have to worry whether he is losing interest.
In fact, HE will be the one wondering if he’s putting in enough effort!
Reason 6: He Is Emotionally Insecure
Relationships are both a blessing and a curse.
This might seem like a weird thing to say, but think about it:
Relationships are great because they give us emotional fulfillment that we wouldn’t normally be able to get on our own.
They give us the opportunity to give and receive love in a way that we may not have thought was possible before. And they can make us happier and healthier than ever before.
But sometimes, they are also a curse. Why?
Because they also come with a lot of emotional baggage, and you will have to work through it together.
This can be scary for men, as it forces them to face feelings that may be foreign or uncomfortable for them.
Not every man is ready to take on the responsibility for the emotional baggage that comes with a relationship.
And if he doesn’t want to deal with it, he will simply stop putting effort into your relationship!
Reason 7: He Doesn’t Want Commitment
Sometimes, a man will stop putting effort into the relationship because he’s just not ready to settle down.
And in most cases, the main reason behind this is because he is just not sure about you.
Perhaps he doesn’t feel like you’re the right one for him. Or maybe he is just not sure if he is ready for a relationship right now.
Whatever the reason, he just wants to keep his options open and not commit to anything for now.
And if you keep pressuring him about committing, he will only pull away and get turned off from a relationship with you completely.
Now obviously, it’s unlikely that he will tell you that he doesn’t want to commit directly.
So instead of this, he will tend to stop putting effort into the relationship in different ways.
For example, he might stop helping out around the house, or he might start going cold and ignoring you.
Whatever it is that he does, you will notice it and likely feel upset about it.
This will then cause you to feel resentful towards him, and make him pull away even further.
To learn how to get commitment from him the RIGHT way (so that he thinks its HIS idea to commit), grab a free copy of our guide here!
Reason 8: He Is Losing Interest
Sometimes, a man will just start losing interest in you. It’s sad, but it’s completely normal.
After all, relationships do run their course sometimes. And its always a risk you have to take when you enter a relationship.
This can be very upsetting and stressful for a lot of women. Your mind will be filled with thoughts of anxiety and nervousness.
But remember: This has nothing to do with how well you are treating him, or how “good” for a woman you are. It’s an entirely different issue altogether.
At the end of the day, a man’s heart is his own. It has nothing to do with you.
Once he starts losing interest in you, it means that his “heart” has already drifted away.
This might not be something you see at first. But there will definitely be signs that you should look out for.
For example, he might appear distracted when he’s with you. Or you might see him talking about another woman in a mysterious manner.
Its very important for you to act right away once you notice these signs. And you must be careful of what actions you take, because one wrong move could make things even worse!
Reason 9: He’s Lazy
Sometimes, a man might just stop putting effort into your relationship because he’s just too lazy.
You might not see this at the start of the relationship, when emotions are running high…
But as the relationship progresses, it will become obvious that he is just a lazy man.
This can cause you to feel unappreciated and resentful at the fact that he can’t be bothered to spend time with you or make you happy.
After all, we all know that effort is important in a relationship because its what holds it together. Without it, the love fades away and things quickly fall apart.
Once again, this has nothing to do with you. Laziness is a tough habit to get rid of, and you deserve better from your man.
That’s why it’s important to get him to make you his #1 priority.
He needs to understand that you’re the most important woman in his life, and that you’re the one thing that he CAN’T be lazy about.
(Check out our free guide to learn EXACTLY how to do this.)
Reason 10: Something Turned Him Off
To a lot of women, it might seem strange that a man would suddenly start ignoring them.
But it’s important to note that guys are NOT emotional creatures.
Instead, they tend to be way more cold and rational. And if something displeases them, they can completely cut you off from the heart.
So before you try to figure out why your man is slowly putting less effort into your relationship, think about anything that might have turned him off to you.
Try to figure out WHEN did he start pulling away, and WHAT triggered this coldness from him.
It might be that something you did or said really irritated him. Or perhaps it was something you did that made him feel insecure.
If this is the case, try to avoid doing it again in the future, while also being a lot more understanding and supportive of his needs and feelings.
It takes time and effort to heal a hurt relationship. But if you do the right things, he will eventually warm up to you again.
How To Secure Your Relationship And Make Him Yours Forever
Let’s be honest here:
We all know that some relationships work out, but some just don’t.
But have you ever wondered WHY that is?
Why do some women have to struggle with disappointment and loneliness time and time again?
And why do other women get to enjoy those beautiful, joyful relationships with a loving man who cherishes them and treats them like a princess?
After helping thousands of women around the world find, keep and attract their ideal match, we’ve figured it out.
It all comes down to “locking-in” a man’s devotion for you.
Here’s what we mean:
It’s not easy to constantly chase after your man and try to get him to put more effort into your relationship.
Instead, you need to get HIM to chase you.
In fact, it’s just not possible to “make” him to step up his game and treat you like a priority.
He has to FEEL it from inside his heart.
Instead of trying to convince him to put in more effort on a logical level, you have to make him WANT to on an emotional level.
So here’s what you do:
You need to tap into the areas in his mind that are associated with the feelings of love and bonding.
And you can easily do this just by using a few small habit tweaks in your daily life.
It sounds super simple. But we’ve already shared these techniques with thousands of women around the world. And they work amazingly!
Now, it’s your turn!
To get you started, we’ve prepared a handy guide on how to make any man yours forever using these same tips. And today, it’s yours for free!
Use these easy techniques to “lock-in” a man’s commitment to you, and to make him love you FOREVER!
These are the same tips and habits that separate the popular, attractive girls from the rest of the women in the world.
And because they are based on male psychology, it works on any man…
No matter how old you are, or what you look like.
So if you’re tired of worrying, stressing and getting disappointed in your relationships, even though you’re trying your very best from your heart, its time to make a change.
You deserve to feel and experience the warm love and comfort that comes with a relationship with a man who loves you (and ONLY you) from the bottom of the heart.
Grab your free copy of the guide, start using the tips included, and see for yourself how big of a difference it makes!
Use these easy techniques to “lock-in” a man’s commitment to you, and to make him love you FOREVER!
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