If you have concerns about a child's development and think a child might need extra help to learn and grow, do not hesitate to refer a child.
The family will be contacted by the local school district to arrange for a screening or evaluation to determine if their child is eligible for Infant and Toddler Intervention or Preschool Special Education services in Minnesota.
Most children reach development milestones within the anticipated age range, but some reach them more quickly or take a little longer. Many children reach certain milestones, for example language, at an earlier age than others while developing other skills in the typical range.
Your preschooler still needs plenty of sleep. By their fourth birthday children need 10 to 13 hours of sleep a day. They might have a nap during the day, but often 4 year olds have no daytime naps.
If you have to wake them most mornings and they are cranky or overtired during the day, your child probably needs more sleep.
A healthy diet will also help your preschooler grow and develop. It's normal for some preschoolers to be fussy eaters or go through a fussy stage. Keeping mealtime fun while continuing to present a variety of options to your child will help them learn to try and like new flavours and textures.
If you're concerned about any aspect of your child's development, talk to your doctor.
Physical and skills milestones
By the age of 4, you child will probably be toilet trained. They will be able to wash their hands and face, and with some help from you, clean their teeth. They'll be dressing themselves, although shoelaces and buttons may be difficult.
By now they will be improving their ball skills, riding a tricycle, using pencils and scissors and drawing. They will be learning to balance on one foot and hop.
Preschoolers are curious about their bodies and those of family members which can form part of playing 'mums and dads' or 'doctors'.
Childhood sex play — wherein children occasionally and spontaneously show interest in other children's bodies or genitals — is very common among preschoolers and in the early school years. It's part of their general curiosity about bodies.
Read about childhood sex play and how to talk about it.
If you’re concerned about how your child behaves during childhood sex play or how they talk about it or about body parts, talk to your doctor or another qualified health professional.
Emotional milestones
Between the ages of 3 and 4, your child starts to have a better understanding that their bodies and feelings are their own. They will also have a better grasp of how emotions such as joy or sorrow feel and how to describe those feelings.
In this age range, children get better at handling their emotions. Improving communication skills enable them to talk about their needs and wants, so you'll notice fewer temper tantrums.
Self-esteem helps children have the confidence and courage to try new things, feel liked and accepted and feel proud of themselves. It also helps them cope with feelings of sadness or worry. You can help your child build self-esteem by encouraging them to learn and try new things, praising their efforts more than results and by avoiding harsh criticism.
Along with developing self-esteem, your child will be forming friendships and may enjoy playing in small groups where they will practice how to play with other children and what's acceptable when playing with their friends.
It's very common for children to develop imaginary friends, which are a result of healthy imaginations. You may recognise a name or description of an imaginary friend from a book, television or toy, or the friend may be completely imagined. Your child will stop playing with their imaginary friend when they are ready.
Thinking and language milestones
By the time your child is 4, you can expect to have conversations with them that involve several hundred new words in sentences of 6 or more words.
By their fourth birthday, preschoolers usually:
- understand most of the instructions you give about familiar things and places, for example, 'please put your cup on the table'
- can be understood by other people
- recognise and name objects and parts of objects in books and in real life
- understand concepts such as comparing things ('big' or 'small', 'thin' or 'thick'), and locations ('in', 'under')
- recite familiar rhymes and sing familiar songs
- ask a lot of questions about the world and how it works — 'why' and 'where' and 'when'
- begin identifying and copying letters, numbers and colours
- start to understand time
- know and tell others their name and age
Your child's language is developing very quickly at this time. Find out more about speech development in children.
Helping your child's development
Your preschooler will enjoy running, tumbling and rolling, all of which use up energy and help them to deal with their emotions while continuing to develop their growing bodies. Try to give your child lots of chances to participate in physical activity. Encourage your child to play in sand or mud and get 'messy', to dance to some music, to climb and explore in nature and navigate playground equipment.
Your preschooler may also enjoy:
- drawing and painting with pencils, crayons, paints and paper
- dress-up and pretend games
- reading books with you, singing and reciting rhymes, and dancing
- cooking with you, which gives you the chance to introduce numbers and concepts such as weight and size
- building things with blocks
If you're concerned
While different children reach milestones at different times, most children should have developed these skills and be enjoying these activities by their fourth birthday.
You should talk to your doctor or child health nurse if you have concerns about any of the milestones described or if you notice that your 4-year-old:
- isn't using sentences of more than 3 words
- doesn't seem to understand 2-part commands, such as 'sit on your chair and pick up your book'
- doesn't pretend during play
- seems to overreact with explosive tantrums over small things or when you leave them
- often trips when walking or running
- isn't improving when using pencils or crayons and isn't able to draw simple shapes
- has difficulty dressing or using the toilet
- doesn't seem to see things or hear you
- has lost skills they once had
Vaccinations
At age 4, your child should receive vaccinations against diphtheria, tetanus, acellular pertussis (whooping cough) and polio (DTPa-IPV).
Find out more about the Australian vaccination program.
If you think 4-year-olds are hard to keep up with, it’s probably because they develop lots of new skills very quickly this year. Still, you may wonder what a typical 4-year-old is able to do.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has a list of milestones, which it updated with many changes in 2022. The agency moved some of the milestones to different age ranges, which some experts question.
The CDC milestones below can help you know what to expect. If your child isn’t meeting these milestones, it can point to possible developmental delays. Talk with your child’s doctor or other health care provider. And if your child is in preschool, share your concerns with the teacher.
You can also learn more about:
Social/emotional milestones
- Pretends to be something else during play (teacher, superhero, dog)
- Asks to go play with children if none are around, like “Can I play with Alex?”
- Comforts others who are hurt or sad, like hugging a crying friend
- Knows to avoid danger, like not jumping from tall heights at the playground
- Likes to be a “helper”
- Changes behavior to fit the setting (the grocery store versus the playground)
Language/communication milestones
- Says sentences with four or more words
- Says some words from a song, story, or nursery rhyme
- Talks about at least one thing that happened during the day, like “I played soccer.”
- Answers simple questions like “What is a coat for?” or “Where’s the dog?”
Cognitive milestones (learning, thinking, problem-solving)
- Names the color of items correctly
- Tells what comes next in a well-known story
- Draws a person with three or more body parts
Movement/physical development milestones
- Catches a large ball most of the time
- Pours water or serves themselves food, with adult supervision
- Unbuttons some buttons
- Holds crayon or pencil between fingers and thumb (not a fist)
Kids don’t all develop at the same rate. Some 4-year-olds are a bit behind their peers, and some are ahead of schedule. But if your child hasn’t met many of these milestones, it’s important to find out why.
Take a look forward at developmental milestones for 5-year-olds.
Four-year-olds typically use sentences with four or more words.
They like to be helpers and they comfort people who are upset.
Not meeting many milestones could be signs of a developmental delay.
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Amanda Morin is the author of “The Everything Parent’s Guide to Special Education” and the former director of thought leadership at Understood. As an expert and writer, she helped build Understood from its earliest days.