What is a emotional meltdown?

Many autistic people have meltdowns. The public often finds it hard to tell autism meltdowns and temper tantrums apart, but they are very different things. If your family member or the person you support has meltdowns, find out how to anticipate them, identify their causes and minimise their frequency.
 

What is a meltdown? 

A meltdown is an intense response to an overwhelming situation. It happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses control of their behaviour. This loss of control can be expressed verbally (eg shouting, screaming, crying), physically (eg kicking, lashing out, biting) or in both ways. 

A meltdown is not the same as a temper tantrum. It is not bad or naughty behaviour. When a person is completely overwhelmed, and their condition means it is difficult to express that in another way, it is understandable that the result is a meltdown. 

Meltdowns are not the only way an autistic person may express feeling overwhelmed. They may also refuse to interact, withdrawing from situations they find challenging or avoiding them altogether.
 

What to do 

If someone is having a meltdown, or not responding to you, don’t judge them. It can make a world of difference to an autistic person and their carers. 

• Give them some time - it can take a while to recover from information or sensory overload. 
• Calmly ask them (or their parent or friend) if they’re OK, but bear in mind they’ll need more time to respond than you might expect. 
• Make space - try to create a quiet, safe space as best you can. Ask people to move along and not to stare, turn off loud music and turn down bright lights – whatever you can think of to reduce the information overload, try it.
   

Anticipating a meltdown 

Many autistic people will show signs of distress before having a meltdown, which is sometimes referred to as the “rumble stage”. They may start to exhibit signs of anxiety such as pacing, seek reassurance through repetitive questioning or physical signs such as rocking or becoming very still. At this stage, there may still be a chance to prevent a meltdown. Strategies to consider include distraction, diversion, helping the person use calming strategies such as fiddle toys or listening to music, removing any potential triggers, and staying calm yourself.
 

Identifying the causes 

A meltdown is a reaction to an overwhelming experience. If your family member or the person you support has meltdowns, identify what is overwhelming for them. Complete a diary over a period of time. Record what happened before, during and after each meltdown. Patterns may emerge. You may find that meltdowns occur at particular times, in particular places, or when something particular has happened.
 

Minimising triggers 

Once you have a clearer idea what may be triggering meltdowns, think about ways you might minimise that trigger. Every autistic person is different, but sensory differences, changes in routine, anxiety, and communication difficulties are common triggers.
 

Sensory considerations 

Many autistic people have sensory differences. They may be over-sensitive to some senses, under-sensitive to others and often a combination of both. 

For example, for someone who is over-sensitive to touch and sound, people brushing past them and a loud announcement at a train station could cause pain and sensory overload, leading to a meltdown. In this situation, it could be helpful to listen to calming music on headphones to block out loud noises and to wait until everyone has got off the train before approaching the platform to avoid crowds of people.  

In other situations, consider creating a low arousal environment (eg remove bright lights) or use sensory equipment (eg glasses with dark or coloured lenses, ear defenders, a weighted blanket).
 

Change in routine 

Consistent, predictable routines and structure are very important for autistic people and a change to routine can be very distressing. 

For example, having to go a different route to school due to roadworks could cause feelings of anxiety, that may trigger a meltdown. In this example, a clear visual support explaining the change, reassurance that the rest of the routine remains the same and adding extra support such as a calming/comforting activity to do in the car could help.  

For an unexpected change, there can be a particular plan in place, such as: 

• the use of a picture symbol to explain the change 
• reinforcement of the rest of the day being the same (if that’s the case) 
• a chance to express any frustration appropriately (such as hitting a pillow, ripping paper) followed by an activity that is known to calm the person such as taking deep breaths, listening to calming music, going for a walk, or squeezing a stress ball. 

It may help to increase structure around ordinary transitions, helping the person to navigate the change from one activity to another throughout the day. Using a clear timetable explaining when the transitions will be, using timers to count down to transitions, using a favourite toy or character to be part of the transition, can all help.
 

Anxiety 

With its unwritten rules and unpredictable nature, the world can be an extremely challenging environment for autistic people and many experience anxiety. Without tools and strategies to help manage their feelings of anxiety, they may experience a meltdown.  

Develop strategies to manage anxiety, such as our Brain in Hand app. 

Have a plan beforehand of what to do if the person feels anxious, such as a calming playlist to listen to at the shops or a stress ball in their pocket. 

Build relaxation time into the routine. The person will generally feel calmer and therefore better able to manage when something that could trigger a meltdown, occurs. What that means will vary from person to person, and may consist of quiet activities, eg taking a walk, listening to music, playing a computer game, reading, doing puzzles, using fiddle toys, or more strenuous activities, eg jumping on a trampoline or going to the gym. 

In the case of more strenuous activities, observe whether the activity really does calm the person down. If it doesn’t, but is just an activity they really enjoy, still build in time for that activity but also try and find one that does genuinely calm them down and make time for that as well.
 

Communication difficulties 

Autistic people can find it difficult to express their wants and needs, from a non-verbal child struggling to express their need for a drink to a teenager finding it hard to express their emotions. This can result in overwhelming feelings, such as anger and frustration, leading to a meltdown. 

Support the person to find ways to understand and express their emotions appropriately before they get overwhelmed, and find ways to make your own communication more easily understandable. Some autistic people may find verbal communication difficult due to misunderstanding body language, tone of voice, irony and sarcasm.  

Things you can try include: 

• visual supports  
• social stories  
• Picture Exchange Communication Systems (PECS) 
• written information 
• modifying your verbal communication eg by speaking in short, clear sentences 
• using technology such as tablets and voice software, instant messaging etc 
• increasing understanding of emotions and social skills.
   

More from our charity 

• Brain in Hand app 
• Communicating and interacting 
• Anxiety

• When we find ourselves in frustrating situations, we might experience an emotional meltdown, which results from difficult feelings.
• Fortunately, there are healthy ways to respond to an emotional meltdown, of which include understanding one’s frustrations, tuning into one’s physical self, and breathing.
• If you’re feeling frustrated and on the verge of having an emotional meltdown, first take a step back to evaluate your thoughts associated with the frustrating event.
• Then, consider if your frustrations are really rooted in the present circumstances; it is possible that they’re rooted in a past experience, instead.
• Now, look at where your negative emotions are manifesting and focus on soothing that part of your body.
• Finally, employ a handful of breathing techniques until you feel calm: diaphragmatic breathing or alternate nostril breathing might get the job done.

Have you ever found yourself completely frustrated? We’ve all been there: you’re stuck at the DMV, waiting in line for hours, just to get a number and wait for even longer; you’ve been working extra hard at work to prove your worth and ensure you get that well-deserved promotion… but your lazy coworker gets it instead; or, more simply, little things throughout your day are going wrong and you feel emotionally defeated.

Whatever it is that’s made you feel defeated, you’re on the verge of an emotional breakdown. For some, this means their eyes are welling with tears, threatening to fall at any moment. For others, this means a racing heart and trembling hands. But for most, it means an influx of stress, negativity, and a bad end to a bad day. So, how can we better manage that emotional meltdown and prevent it from wreaking complete and utter havoc? Robyn Gold, a licensed clinical social worker, outlines a few steps, of which focus on understanding your frustration, tuning into your body, and practicing different breathing exercises:

1) Evaluate the thoughts associated with feeling frustrated.

When you’re feeling frustrated and on the verge of an emotional meltdown, take a minute to think about why you’re so upset: “One way to handle frustration is to evaluate your thoughts associated with the frustration. Sometimes when people are frustrated, they may find their thinking patterns to be catastrophic (i.e. if they make a mistake, they may beat themselves up for it and have the thought that they can never do anything right),” Gold explains. Then, decide if you’re being a little hard on yourself. And adjust any unhelpful thinking patterns. “In these situations, ask yourself, ‘Is this thought helpful or unhelpful to me right now?’ If the thought is not helpful, ask yourself, ‘What is something I can say to myself instead to help me feel more empowered and calm.’”

2) Answer this: Are you upset about a present or past situation?

Take some time to think about whether your frustration truly stems from your current situation or if, instead, it is rooted in something deeper—perhaps an event from your past. “Think about whether the frustration is being caused by what you’re actually dealing with in the present, or if your present situation is reminding you of a more emotionally tumultuous, negative situation from your past,” says Gold. “For example, someone who has a history of being bullied in childhood may be more combative or easily angered in the present if a stranger calls them a bad name for no reason on the subway. You can calm this frustration by staying present in the moment.”

3) Tune into your body and where the feelings of frustration are manifesting.

Now is the time to look at where your emotions are manifesting in your body. Then, try focusing on relaxing that part of your body. “If you tune into your body and notice you’re feeling your frustration in your chest, it may be helpful to place a hand on your chest as you breathe to ground yourself,” Gold explains. “Oftentimes, people become frustrated in situations in which they don’t have control. In these cases, there may be other emotions such as fear or anxiety that are underlying or accompanying the frustration. By focusing on what you do have control over, you may feel more empowered to problem solve, which can help you feel less frustrated.”

4) Breathe.

Finally, calm down by employing different breathing techniques. Gold recommends a few different approaches, including diaphragmatic breathing and alternate nostril breathing: “There are a couple of different styles of breathing that can help calm your body down. First, try diaphragmatic breathing. You can do this by imagining a balloon in your stomach inflating with the in breath through your nose and deflating with the out breath through your mouth. Another way to try this is to breathe in through your nose while imagining the air going all the way down to your toes, and then breathe more slowly out through your mouth imagining the air coming all the way up your body from your toes. You can also try alternate nostril breathing. In this type of breathing, you can start by covering your right nostril, breathe out and then in through your left nostril. Then, switch by covering your left nostril, breathing out and then in through your right nostril. You can keep alternating as much as you need to until your body calms down.”

The next time you have an emotional breakdown, remember that it’s normal to feel frustrated and completely defeated sometimes. It’s okay to feel this way, but it’s also helpful to learn how to respond well in these situations. On one hand, you can let your frustration and anger take over, potentially harming your wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around you; or, you can learn to tune into your emotions and take a few moments to calm down.