Sometimes it can be hard to understand our partners. They do say opposites attract, but at times, it can feel like they are from a different planet! So how do we really connect with them if they are so different? Show
That's where the 5 Love Languages can have such a powerful impact on your relationship. The book that sparked the new way of thinking about love, The 5 Love Languages® by Dr. Gary Chapman, was written in 1995 and has become more popular recently. But what exactly are the five love languages, and what do they mean? The five love languages describe the way we feel love and appreciation. Depending on your personality, you may feel love differently than how your partner does. Understanding and decoding these different ways of showing love will help take the guesswork out of your partner's expectations and needs. According to Dr. Chapman, there are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. These love languages are present in romantic relationships, and we even see them within our families, friendships, and leadership roles! In this post, we will be summarizing the five love languages and how you can include them in your daily interactions with your partner. To read everything, get the book here. Want to connect and laugh more with your partner? Check out these conversation starters and date night games! What is your primary love language? Take the quiz!To find out what your primary love language is, take THIS QUIZ with your partner.  Love Language #1 - Words of AffirmationThe Words of Affirmation love language expresses love with words that build your partner up and make them feel appreciated. Verbal compliments don't have to be complicated; the shortest and simplest praises can be the most effective. "That dress looks incredible on you!" "You always make me laugh." "I love your hair today." A few words can make a world of difference if your partner has this love language. Compliments and an "I love you" can go a long way. On the other hand, hostile or insulting comments can hurt your partner, and it may take them longer to forgive than others. If your partner's primary love language is Words of Affirmation, make sure to have an open line of communication with them. Learn more about the Words of Affirmation love language! Learn more Love Language #2 - Acts of ServiceYour partner might have the Acts of Service as their primary love language if their motto is "Actions speak louder than words." This love language focuses on specific actions that show you care and understand your partner. Cooking a meal, doing the laundry, and picking up their prescription on your way home from work are all acts of service. They require thought, time, and effort. You should do all these acts with positivity and your partner's ultimate happiness in mind for them to be considered an expression of love. Doing something purely out of obligation or with a negative tone will not mean as much and can even sometimes hurt your partner. Learn more about the Acts of Service love language! Learn more Want to connect and laugh more with your partner? Check out these conversation starters and date night games! Love Language #3 - Receiving GiftsThe Receiving Gifts love language isn't necessarily materialistic. It just means that a meaningful or thoughtful gift makes your partner feel loved and appreciated. Something as simple as picking up a pint of their favorite ice cream after a long work week can make a huge impact. The most important part of the gift is the thought and meaning behind it. The right gift can show your partner that you listen and understand them, making them feel loved and appreciated. Learn more about the Receiving Gifts love language! Learn more Love Language #4 - Quality TimeThis love language is all about undivided attention. No televisions, no This love language is all about undivided attention. No televisions, no smartphones, or any other distractions. If this is your partner's primary language, they don't just want to be included during this time; they want to be the center of your attention. They want their partners to look at them and them only. This doesn't mean that you can't curl up on the couch to watch Netflix or HBO; it just means that you need to make sure to dedicate time together without all of the distractions. That will help them feel comforted and appreciated at the moment. Every time you cancel a date, postpone time together or aren't present during your time together, it can be exceedingly hurtful to your partner as it can make them feel like you care more about other things or activities than them. Learn more about the Quality Time love language! Learn more Love Language #5 - Physical TouchThe Physical Touch love language can often be confused for purely being sexual. But in fact, it is more about intimacy. To people with this love language, nothing is more impactful than the physical touch of their partner. They aren't necessarily into over-the-top PDA, but they feel more connected and safe in a relationship by holding hands, kissing, hugging, etc. If Physical Touch is your partner's primary love language, they will feel unloved without physical contact. They want to feel you close by, not just emotionally but physically. All of the words and gifts in the world won't change that. Learn more about the Physical Touch love language! Learn more Want to connect and laugh more with your partner? Check out these conversation starters and date night games!Summary of the 5 Love LanguagesThere are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Learning your partner’s and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship. Are you ready to find out more about your love language?Now that you know about The 5 Love Languages®, you should have a good idea of which one is your primary language. Let’s see what yours has to say about you! What Does My Love Language Say About Me? What’s your love language? Click here to take the FREE QUIZ or get your copy today! The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman.[1] It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which Chapman calls "love languages". They are acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.
Publication date 1992ISBN978-0736934732According to Chapman, the five "love languages" are:
Examples are given from his counseling practice, as well as questions to help determine one's own love languages.[2][3] According to Chapman's theory, each person has one primary and one secondary love language. Chapman suggests that to discover another person's love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands. An example would be: if a husband's love language is acts of service, he may be confused when he does the laundry and his wife does not perceive that as an act of love, viewing it as simply performing household duties, because the love language she comprehends is words of affirmation (verbal affirmation that he loves her). She may try to use what she values, words of affirmation, to express her love to him, which he would not value as much as she does. If she understands his love language and mows the lawn for him, he perceives it in his love language as an act of expressing her love for him; likewise, if he tells her he loves her, she values that as an act of love. The book sold 8,500 copies in its first year, four times what the publisher expected.[4] The following year it sold 17,000, and two years later, 137,000.[4] It was on the New York Times Best Seller list from 2009 to 2013.[5] A new, revised edition of The Five Love Languages was released on January 1, 2015.[citation needed] A 2006 study by Nicole Egbert and Denise Polk suggests that the Five Love Languages might have some degree of psychometric validity.[6] Since 1992, Chapman has written several books related to The Five Love Languages, including The Five Love Languages of Children in 1997[7] and The Five Love Languages for Singles in 2004.[8] In 2011, Chapman co-authored The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace with Dr. Paul White, applying the 5 Love Languages concepts to work-based relationships.[9] There are also special editions of the book, such as The Five Love Languages Military Edition (2013) which Chapman co-authored with Jocelyn Green.[10]
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