Mad at god sarah saint james lyrics

Sarah Saint James is proving the complete power that TikTok has in breaking emerging artists. On January 5th, the independent Sydney based singer-songwriter posted a snippet of a fresh demo after a studio session with producer Nat Sherwood and co-writer Bri Clark. She woke up the next morning to over 100k views on the video, and a momentum that was in immediate orbit. Now amassing over 400k views, she has officially released the track for the excited fanbase who have joined her on this journey because they not only believe in the song, but most importantly because they found solace in Sarah Saint James’ honest reflection. 

‘Mad At God’ is an intimate reflection of her fifteen year old self who was sitting alone on her bathroom floor wishing she was someone else. Growing up in a Christian house, and going to a Christian school, religion was always forced upon her which made it impossible for her to open up to her parents about how she was feeling. With the songs perspective shining on her realisation of being pansexual and her struggle with her weight, she questioned if god existed then why did he let her feel like this daily. 

“I’m mad at god cause I prayed last night and I woke up the same size. I fell in love with a girl this time, and my mum says that’s not right. No I don’t wanna be bitter, or come across as a quitter but I’m getting kinda tired. I’m mad at god cause if he exists why do I still feel like this?” she sings during the huge hook. 

Contrasting the emotionally heavy lyrics with a liberating electronic energy, Nat Sherwood has produced this song into an absolute emo-pop anthem. Opening with hauntingly light synths the song builds into this dark and pulsating hook that completely takes over. It inserts a prominent energy that is unforgettable and has already become one of the catchiest hooks of the year. 

But while the experimental production is exciting and unpredictable, there is still a whole lot of heart and vulnerability that is pulsating through the track. In particular, the bridge is a very raw moment of reflection that ponders a situation that will resonate with a lot of queer people. Feeling like giving up, she contemplated suicide because she couldn’t bare the thought of not being able to change her sexuality or the bullying about her weight. Luckily she was able to find strength and help to keeping fighting, and through the song she will hopefully inspire so many more people to keep that inner-strength ignited. 

‘Mad At God’ is already a huge success story for Sarah Saint James. By boldly and honestly telling the world her story she has started to create a community within her listeners, and has created a song that will genuinely empower and help people to not feel alone within their own experiences. And on top of that, it’s also a bonafide banger that you won’t be able to get out of your head. 

NOTE: If you’re in Australia and have thoughts about suicide, Lifeline is available on 13 11 14. And for international readers, a list of individual country services is HERE