As uncomfortable as this idea may be, asking for cash instead of wedding gifts is a growing trend. Blame the economy. Or, it's the simple fact that more couples are paying for their own weddings. And, while it's true that
most guests bring gifts, do we have the right to assume this of them? On the other hand, while asking for cash instead of gifts may seem like it will annoy your guests ... there is a lot to be said for an honest straight-forward approach. This is especially true, if this is what family and friends might expect. Asking for money will always be awkward. Will your guests wonder, "how much is enough?" If you're going to ask for cash gifts, we don't suggest mentioning it on the
invitation. Instead, add it to your wedding website. Just be sure to include the like to your site on an enclosure card with your invitation Be specific about how you will use the cash. This will help guests feel more connected and better about giving cash instead of a piece of china or blender!
posted 13 years ago in Gifts and Registries Post # 1 88 posts Worker bee
What is a polite way to ask for money (in lieu of a physical gift) on a bridal shower invitation? I have tried searching the internet but most websites just say “don’t do it”. Well, I’m doing it, so I need to know a good way to say it without being blunt. I’d also like to avoid excessively long poems, but a short rhyme I might consider. Thanks in advance for any ideas you can come up with!  Post # 3 85 posts Worker bee
Hmm, so I’m having a hard time visualizing this event … you sit in the circle, open envelopes, and announce happily the amount of $ you receive? Post # 4 1652 posts Bumble bee
See the bridal shower is about gifts. That is the point. Perhaps if you skip the shower, people will be more likely to give you more $$ for the wedding. And money is more commonly given for the actual wedding. Post # 5 499 posts Helper bee
Even if you find a polite way to ask for money at your bridal shower I guarantee that almost everyone will still bring a physical gift. It’s just bridal shower tradition. Can you maybe just ask for cash at your actual wedding instead? Post # 6 499 posts Helper bee
@snowflake- I agree, that would be extremely awkward. Post # 7 1581 posts Bumble bee
We just tried to do this for my cousin. It is her 3 wedding (2nd marriage) and she is prego. So we all knew that they really needed cash instead of the traditional type wedding gifts and we knew it was too early to give baby gifts. The event was really informal because it was a last minute shower. Their engagement was announced in January and getting married in February. We sent out an email evite to save time and went to a local Mexican Food resturant. We said everyone would pay for their own meals and drinks. We would take care of appteizers, cake and the bride’s meal. We also said in cutsy way to bring cash to help for their big day. Well some of the ladies complained that they would rather bring a gift because if they find an item on sale they’ll buy it and not spend as much money etc. So if it didn’t go over well with just her close friends and family it will not go over well with people who don’t know everyone in the group. Post # 8 403 posts Helper bee
The reason you can’t find a polite way to ask for money, is that there is no polite way to ask for money as a gift. Ever. If you do not want gifts, do not have a bridal shower. The point of the bridal shower is to shower the bride with gifts. You don’t get to dictate what each person gives you. I’m not trying to be rude, I just don’t want you to put yourself and your guests in a position that causes discomfort. If I got an invitation to a bridal shower with a specific request for cash, especially in “disguise” as a poem, I would decline the invitation. I just wouldn’t see the point. Post # 9 1352 posts Bumble bee
Yeah, I can’t really think of a way to do this, because giving gifts is the point of a shower. Sorry. Post # 10 247 posts Helper bee
So since you actually asked for a phrase… maybe “The bride will not be opening gifts but donations to the honeymoon are always appreciated”. But really that’s pretty horrible and awkward. My only reaction would be to say “don’t do it” but since you’re so set on it this is the best thing I could think of.. though I must admit I’d be offended by it. Post # 11 88 posts Worker bee
I cannot believe that there are so many rude people on Weddingbee. You have no right to judge, as you know nothing about the situation. There are some things that people post about on Weddingbee that they’re doing for their wedding that I think are completely ridiculous or tacky. I could name a bunch right now, and some of them I’m sure some of YOU are doing/have done. However, I would never comment on your post and tell you how stupid I think it is, and especially I would never leave rude comments such as that made by snowflake. A quick search on Google and I came up with this about bridal showers: “The history of the custom is rooted not necessarily for the provision of goods for the upcoming matrimonial home, but to provide goods and financial assistance to ensure the wedding may take place.” Your culture may dictate one method of conducting a bridal shower, and my culture may dictate another. I didn’t ask you whether you think I should have a money shower or not. I was just asking for any ideas of what could be written on the invitation. Seriously, I would be fine with it saying “money shower”. I just thought that there were many creative people on Weddingbee who could provide me with some more interesting ideas. Thanks anyway. Post # 12 1352 posts Bumble bee
I’m sorry you feel this way, and I hope it wasn’t people’s intentions to hurt you. If a money shower is customary in your culture, how do people normally ask for it? Do you have an aunt, sister or friend who could tell you how she phrased it? If it is normal among your family and friends, you probably don’t need a cute phrase, though I can see wanting one to make it more fun. Post # 13 3340 posts Sugar bee
Let’s please keep this a civil discussion. The OP is requesting ideas for wording. If you don’t agree with her shower idea, please just defer to post. Anyone with a great idea on how to help her out on this, please chime in! No need to be calling people out. For the OP: Are you asking specifically for money to support your wedding planning? Or for money for the honeymoon? Or do you just not want any gifts? Is it a cultural thing (like maybe it’s popular in your culture to provide the bride with envelopes of money for the shower?)? It helps to know the reason you are asking for money instead of gifts. Maybe the wording could stem from that! Post # 14 2639 posts Sugar bee
@karina85: I’m sorry you are feeling like your ideas are being attacked, but please don’t call others out like that. I surely think asking for monetary gifts varies by culture. Could you mention that a “money tree” would be available at your shower? Maybe you could have something like that at your shower that people can attach their monetary gifts to? Or, I just found this that maybe you could include on your invite: To make it easy for youand avoid a shopping spree,we thought that we would have instead, a little money tree. And if you do have a money tree at the shower, here’s some poems you could attach to it: THE MONEY TREE I’m just a little money tree With lots of branches, bare as can be! But you can make my branches bloom With good things for the bride and groom! Please take your gift and give me leaves To make my branches full and green! For the newlyweds I’ll be a blessing I’ll give them all their nest is missing! or THE MONEY TREE They have their dishes and towels for two They have pots and pans and oven mitts too. So what do you get for the Bride & Groom Whose house is setup in every room? Their house needs repairs and some upgrades too But you can not register for carpet and glue. A tree that grows wishes is the way to go So lets make it easy for all that know. *An envelope will be provided for those who have room, To give a monetary wish to the Bride and Groom. These are from baby showers, but you can play off the idea of these money trees: Post # 15 499 posts Helper bee
I apologize if my post was rude, it wasn’t intended to be and I’m sorry. I really just wanted to warn you that even if you do request cash a lot of people will want to give a physical gift anyways, especially a lot of the older women. This happened at my sisters wedding. She requested that gift cards and cash would be better for their situation, since they had lived together for quite some time and already had many of the houshold items they needed, but she still received a substantial amount of physical gifts. I really like Lillindy’s money tree idea, I wouldn’t be offended or put off if I saw a money tree and if some people still choose to bring physical gifts you can open those at the shower to please those more traditional types of ladies… not that it’s necessary to please them, it’s your shower 🙂 Post # 16 88 posts Worker bee
Thanks for the kind messages and ideas. My aunt actually wrote “money shower” on hers, and she also included registry information for anyone who wanted to use it. There are many reasons why we are asking for money instead of gifts. My personal reason is that I am against the idea of a registry (even though I did make one with simple household items). I don’t feel comfortable that people have to buy our gifts all from one store that mark up their prices, when I know we could get many of the items at other stores for cheaper prices. As well, we won’t actually need so many household items right away, so I’d rather put more money toward our downpayment and things we actually need but can’t register for (furniture, vehicle, etc.). As well, housewarming visits/gifts are pretty common in my culture so we will most likely be receiving many random household items that way. The money tree idea is cute, although I have never heard of it, and I am very conscious of what my family/friends would find “unusual”. I seriously wouldn’t mind doing the registry thing and opening gifts (even though I am ridiculously shy) if we had more money saved up or higher paying/more stable jobs. Unfortunately that is not the case and I’m not sure if every single person invited to the shower knows that, but many of them do so I feel that they won’t mind bringing money. Also, registries are inconvenient in the sense that people want to get first pick, and in my culture money is a pretty typical gift. This brings to mind the post by Miss Pudding where she talks about money being the only acceptable wedding gift in her culture, but not in her fiance’s. I am in a similar situation, but with more outside influences leaning toward the “money” side. If anyone brings a physical gift, I would certainly open it at the shower so as not to offend anyone. However, I will not be opening any cards with money at the shower, as that is tasteless to do so, in my opinion. The topic ‘Asking for money – bridal shower’ is closed to new replies. How do you ask for money instead of gifts for a bridal shower?Tell your wedding party (and parents and family members) that you'd prefer cash, and give them reasons why. Then, encourage them to spread the word (tactfully, of course!) Chances are, bridal shower guests will ask them for advice on what to get you.
How do you politely ask for money instead of gifts?Asking For Cash Instead Of Wedding Gifts. Because we are saving for (fill in the blank), we would appreciate cash donations in lieu of gifts. ... . We ask only of your love and presence but if a present is your desire, we would be honored with a cash gift to help us save for our new home!. Is it rude to ask for money for a bridal shower?Emily Post and other etiquette professionals contend that "you should never ask for money on the invitation" as it is presumptuous, rude and in poor taste.
Is money appropriate for a bridal shower gift?Is Cash Acceptable as a Bridal Shower Gift? While cash is acceptable as a wedding gift, do your best to pick out a gift for the bridal shower. Taking the time to choose a gift for the bride-to-be shows your care and thought, which she'll appreciate afterwards.
|
Bridal shower invitations asking for money instead of gifts
Copyright © 2024 themosti Inc.
