How to tell a man you want him to make love to you

Okay, I don’t know who needs to hear this, but let me just start by saying you are a gdam prize. If you’re with a man who doesn’t make you feel wanted or worthy every! single! day! He’s not worth your time, energy, or this article click—regardless of his height.

But if he does make you feel wanted and appreciated regularly, you just simply want to do something a lil extra for him from time to time, totally get it. And boy, oh boy, do we have some sexy tips for you.

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The good news: These tips work regardless of your relationship status. I don’t care if you’ve been together five years or you’re on your first month of dating. Trust, there’s something in here for your man that will literally make him ache for you (…and maybe even beg, if you’re into that kind of thing).

Here’s what experts suggest if you really want to make him want you for no particular reason. You’re welcome.

1. Show off your curves and make some eye contact

Yup, sometimes all it takes is a quick lil tease of your body's curves to make a man’s jaw drop. Certified sexologist and intimacy educator for K-Y Shan Boodram suggests playing up your “S” posture as much as possible. “Hips out, head tilted, shoulders asymmetrical, and curves wherever else you can manage.”

Another top tip: Give him a taste of the eye triangle. “Make direct eye contact, then move your eyes to their shoulders, down their body, and then quickly back up,” Boodram says.

2. Be independent

When I say independent, I mean eat what you want (regardless of if your S.O. likes it), listen to your favorite music, go out with your girls for regular brunch dates, and continue to partake in all of your fave hobbies.

“An independent woman is more attractive to a man because he is challenged that she can live without him,” says editor and content ambassador at Romantific Samantha Moss. “Let him feel that you love hanging out with him, but you still have a life of your own to live at the same time.”

3. Tease him while you’re texting

A bit of an obvious one, but not always utilized. Sexting is an absolute game changer and it doesn’t have to be hard. You can start by hinting that you’re craving him, suggests intimacy coach Ro Sanchez, owner of sex wellness brand She.Slips. Say something like, "Wow, your touch would feel so good right now." And if you want to really up your odds of making him ache for you, “send him a picture of you laying down with your backside arched up,” suggests Sanchez.

4. Utter the One Word That Drives Him Nuts

As lovey-dovey as pet names make him feel, they still don't compare to the electrifying rush your man gets when his name crosses your lips. "Just hearing it is an aphrodisiac," says body-language expert Eve Marx, author of Read My Hips. "It ratchets up his desire because the message you send is 'It's you I'm thinking about and no one else.' And men need to hear that — it's tied to their primal urge to beat out all the competition."

For instance, when you're feeling sexy in a public setting, like in a dark bar, drop it into conversation in surprising spots and pause for a beat or two: "And then...Jeremy...I slammed the door behind me."

Or try another trick when he's putting the moves on you: Just kind of coo his name to draw his focus entirely on to you. "When Jake and I are getting it on, sometimes it feels like he's lost in his own head," says Sandrine, 26.* "But when I moan his name, everything feels like it gets more intense between us, like it brings him into the moment."

5. Reach into His Pocket for the Keys

Well, more than just the keys. The lesson is this: "Never underestimate the power of an unexpected touch," says David Niven, PhD, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships. "Just by stimulating his nerve endings when he's not prepared for it, you create a positive physical connection that leaves your man wanting more." Even better, your guy subconsciously gets hooked on those mini-moments of excitement and craves them when you're not around.

From now on, be on the lookout for opportune moments to touch him "accidentally." For example, don't ask him for his keys...glide your hand into his pocket and slowly take them out. Don't ask him to pass the salt...reach across him, letting your breasts rub against his arm. Don't walk past him in a crowded bar...press your rear into his gear. According to Tricia, 25, these sneak attacks work like a charm. "If I've been really touchy-feely with Rob, the next morning, he'll be really snuggly," she says. "It's like he wants to be closer to me."

6. Make Small Changes for Big Results

"Men register eye-catching changes to your appearance, and it draws them to you," says Lori Buckley, PsyD. "Adding novelty will keep his desire for you strong."

There's a catch though: If you want to snag his immediate interest, the change has to be guy-visible. "To activate his desire, it has to be a departure from your everyday look," says David Buss, PhD, author of The Evolution of Desire. Maybe take a break from your jeans routine and strut around in a miniskirt. Wear a noticeably higher heel. Or ditch your bra for a day and put a little extra bounce in your step.

7. Compliment Him the Right Way

Look, men love flattery. "More than anything, men desire the feeling of being desired," says Bernstein. "When a man hears praise from his partner, it reinforces that she's attracted to him, which further intensifies his feelings for her."

But there's a trick to buttering up your guy right. You see, men are supersensitive to gushing. It makes them want to gag and run far away. So when you give him props, stick to this tip: The more obscure and exclusive the praise to him, the more genuine it feels. That's why Molly, 31, casually praises her guy's kitchen-cleaning prowess. "Tom is anal about wiping down the counters, so whenever I go to cook and they're clean, I say how much I love it." He may dismiss your flattery with a grunt, but deep down, he's loving every second of it.

8. Give Him a Sensory Flashback

Think about when you first fell for your guy. What reminds you both of that time (aside from the conniption fit you had every time the phone rang)? Figure it out and you've found the secret to conjuring up that new-love rush. "When he experiences something that he associates with falling in love with you, those intense, sensual memories trigger a positive physical reaction and generate instant longing," says Bernstein.

Case in point: "The smell of sunscreen and chlorine makes me crave my wife," says Peter, 28. "It takes me back to when we were in high school and she worked summers as a lifeguard at a pool. Smelling that scent gives me the jolt all over again." To get your guy in the moment, revive an old brand of perfume, visit a favorite place from your shared past, or reinstate an early dating ritual. Oftentimes, you won't even need to say anything, according to Bernstein. These sensory connections are so strong that he'll be transported back instantly.

9. Keep things mysterious...at least a lil bit

Your man is an explorer by nature. The less he knows, the more he wants to know. That's why you pique his curiosity when you don't initially reveal your innermost thoughts. Obviously tell him when you had a shit day and need to talk things out, but don't be afraid to be a lil discreet from time to time.

10. Surprise him

I'm convinced that people who say they don't like surprises actually do. And for men specifically, they flatline from the familiar. Variety is absolutely key to mixing it up. So throwing a new move into your game won't just be a bonus for you, but the novelty will def turn him on.

11. Take advantage of your sexy scent

Biologists believe the reason your odor turns him on is because smell is one of the most primitive senses — it travels a direct route to the brain's limbic lobe, where it can promote an emotional reaction. Spray your fave perfume on his pillow before you leave—he'll never want to get out of bed.

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“All guys want is sex.”

We’ve all heard it before. But I’m here to tell you it’s not true. Not always, anyway. Sometimes, a man wants to make love to you.

Before I go and start a revolution let me explain what I mean:

Yes, the vast majority of men enjoy sex and think about it a lot.

Yes, men get horny (I have it on good authority that sometimes women do, too).

Yes, sex can be pretty cool.

But:

If a man approaches you in a romantic way it does not always mean that he just wants sex.

Or even that he wants sex at all, at least at that moment.

Sometimes he really does want to get to know you better, take things slow, enjoy your personality, bask in your smile and romance you like an old-fashioned troubadour.

And then other times he really does just want some action.

The thing is it can be hard to really know when a fellow is wanting to know you on a deeper level or just wants to ogle your orifices.

Here’s how to tell the difference between a real romantic and a real horndog. I’ll share with you the key signs that a man wants to make love to you.

Let’s get this party for two started…

Just keep in mind that these signs will give you the keycode to deciphering his actions. Use them well, and always try your best to save your regrets for tattoos. Make good decisions, folks.

Here we go.

1) He’s eyeing you up

I know this isn’t always a super comfortable or cool thing for all the ladies, but it’s definitely one of the main signs he wants to make love to you.

You may be work colleagues, old friends, former lovers, or a couple, but if he’s treating you like eye candy that he wants to pop in his mouth then making love is not far from his mind.

You’ve been warned.

When he’s eyeing you up he’ll do things like:

Checking out your cleavage,

Lingering his gaze on your legs,

Licking his lips at your booty,

And generally making it clear that he’s about as into you as he can be … without actually, you know… being in you.

Well, you asked.

2) He touches and caresses you whenever possible

If you’re not into this guy then this can be creepy territory, but if you are it can give you an enjoyable little thrill.

He lets his touch linger:

On your hand,

On your shoulder,

On your waist.

And it feels good.

This guy may be really affectionate and like touching friends, but if there’s a pattern of him touching you and rubbing and hugging then he’s laying the groundwork for touching and rubbing other places.

Sometimes he wants sex but is also shy and won’t touch right away, but if you’re very intuitive you’ll be able to tell he wants to touch.

Either way, intimate touches are the gateway to the garden of groping, so be on the lookout.

3) He talks with his body

This includes body language, licking his lips, orienting his feet towards you, batting his eyelashes and all the rest of the classics.

But it also means literally talking with his body:

Translation: sitting and standing as close to you as possible.

This guy is on a mission to close the distance between you.

Sometimes it can feel like you’re honey and he’s a bee.

Because he’s constantly zooming in to where you are and practically buzzing with lust.

Are you going to be his queen or are you going to send him packing and tell him to get out of your honeycomb?

That’s up to you.

4) He prepares his lair for you

By his lair I mean his bedroom. He’s taking Jordan Peterson’s advice and cleaning it up like a real pro (watch the video below).

There could even be a candle in the corner, a little Buddha icon or some tasteful drapes and artwork going on.

Maybe this guy is on a self-development kick or suffering from spiritual ego, but more likely he’s got seducing you on his mind.

Somewhere between his first acne and first girlfriend, this guy learned that a clean bedroom is often step one of seduction.

And it’s a lesson he didn’t forget.

It’s also a lesson he’s hoping to relearn with you tonight at the horizontal rodeo.

5) He asks you about your intimate life

This guy may be doing a poll for a new study on sexuality and intimacy for university, but far more likely is that he’s asking you about guys and sex because he wants to be the next one.

If it comes across a bit disrespectful he probably didn’t mean it that way.

He’s just fishing for signs that you could be into him, too.

When it comes to clear signs he wants to make love to you this one is up there.

He’s asking about the guys you’ve been with and pushing his luck: he’s throwing down the gauntlet and daring you to make a disgusted face and walk away…or blush and see where this line of questioning leads.

Which way you will go is up to you.

6) He tells dirty jokes

Dirty jokes have their place and they can be extremely funny in the right context – and in the right company.

But if this guy is spending one-on-one time with you and dropping sexual innuendo and dirty jokes then he’s probably got some dirty deeds in mind.

Dirty jokes come in a lot of forms:

Long ones, short ones, silly ones, disgusting ones…

And sexual innuendo is also a diverse field:

It can be subtle,

In your face,

Creepy,

Or kind of hot.

We report, you decide.

Want some help with what to say back?

Obsession phrases are tried and tested words that spark red-hot feelings of emotion and attraction within any man.

They really are a proven backdoor into a man’s heart (or at least his pants).

7) He switches off if you shut down the possibility of sex

This can be a nasty one. This guy who wants to get nasty with you will often shut down if the possibility of sex is gone.

Whether it’s via text, conversation or any other sign, when he knows for sure that you’re not entertaining the possibility of laying him down for some sweet loving he turns off like a light switch.

Maybe you were kind of digging your interactions with this guy.

But as soon as you backed off on the physical side or made it clear you’re not “that type of girl” then he became – more like revealed himself to be – that type of guy.

(A fuckboy).

8) He asks if you want a massage

This is a real classic here. Now maybe the guy in question is studying massage therapy and wants to try out some pressure points on you.

But the more probable explanation is that he’s got the hots for you and he wants to move things closer to you being undressed in front of him and moaning with pleasure (or writhing with pain as he presses the wrong spots because he doesn’t actually know how to massage).

Proceed with caution on this one. Surfaces may be slippery when oiled up.

But if you’re feeling the pull and want to take a risk then go for it.

Massage can often be the introductory phase of some very intimate times together, so if you’re interested you could see where the oily night leads.

9) He’s dressed to the nines and ready to shine

It’s not only the ladies who can get dolled up. Need proof?

The guy who wants to sleep with you is going to be doing his best to get dressed to the nines.

Other signs to watch (and smell) for:

Cologne,

Gelled up hair,

Snazzy new shoes or footwear,

Some new bling like rings, bracelets or a watch,

Sexy sunglasses.

If his style is undergoing an upgrade around you in particular then you’re likely more than just a random recipient of his charms: you’re a target for his tantric fantasies.

10) He puts in the work

Let’s face it:

A lot of guys are kind of lazy.

If this guy is putting in the work to see you and care about you and be in your life then there’s a good chance he wants either a relationship or sex – or both.

How do you tell which?

See what he does when you make it clear that sex is off the table for now, or see how he responds when you indicate the possibility that it could happen soon.

If he’s disappointed and pissed off when you remove the chance of sex in the near future, or intensifies his interest and pursuit when you hint at sex coming up then you will know that it’s a key part of the reason he’s so into you.

Problem solved.

11) He wants to get you over to his pad

Like my previous point said, a clean bedroom is often the sign that he wants to get you into bed.

But first, he has to get you to his actual house, apartment, or room (basement at mom and dad’s).

That means his invitations and suggestions are often going to center on going to his place.

Netflix and chill or some variation could well pop up.

Or after you go for pizza or drinks he might suggest going back to his place.

It should be clear by that point that he’s hoping all roads lead to the bedroom.

12) Relationship talk turns him off

Another way to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, is to bring up the topic of dating seriously or even relationships in general.

If he perks up and seems open he may be after more than just bumping genitals, but if his face shrivels up like a cold ballsack then he’s in it for the sex.

It’s not advisable to turn up the heat on relationship talk, especially if you’ve just started seeing this guy, but it’s reasonable that at least the topic could come up.

And it’s reasonable for you to watch for his reaction.

Because if he weasels away or starts trying to turn back to sex talk or shallow topics then you have all the evidence you need that he’s after your ass and doesn’t want to hear about your long-term plans.

13) He doesn’t seem that interested in what you say

Unless it relates to you and him meeting up and letting your clothes hit the floor…

But when you talk about almost any other subject that’s not related to some sort of chance of hanky panky he gets an absent stare and itchy feet.

He’s all smoldering eye contact and chummy cheerfulness when the winks and wine is flowing, but if you go off script or start talking about something else he turns quite dismissive.

Maybe you were just making conversation to fill the awkward silence because you can’t stop your burning desire for him, too.

Or maybe his dismissiveness pisses you off and just torched his chance of bedroom bliss.

Either way, watch out for this sign.

14) He switches off his video game for you

This is one of the biggest signs he wants to make love to you.

If a guy switches off his video game when you approach or try to talk to him there are only two real options:

He’s in love with you and considering marriage.

He wants to get busy between the sheets.

Or both.

This is especially true if it’s a hot new video game or one that he’s playing in co-op mode with friends.

15) He sends lightning-fast responses to your texts

This is one of the biggest telltale signs he wants to make love to you:

Lightning-fast responses to your texts.

Why? Simple: his mini-me under his pants is doing the thinking for him.

He sees his screen light up with your name and text and he’s already replying before he’s read the whole message.

Because he can almost feel your arms around him and the warm kisses and he’s got his mind on one thing: sex.

If he’s being flirtatious and trying to turn the conversation into sexting then it’s even more obvious he’s more after sex than romance or friendship.

Let’s be honest:

In 99% of cases if he’s texting back like a fiend then he’s horny for you.

The more you know…

So, now you can read the signals and pick up what he’s putting down.

Obviously, in many cases, a guy wants sex and romance or he himself might not know exactly what he wants.

Welcome to the confusing nature of the modern mating ritual.

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

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