How long do you last the first time

By Amy @ Planned Parenthood | Oct. 12, 2010, 9:49 p.m.

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How long does the typical “first time” last? I am worried it was too quick

Everyone’s first time having sex is different, so there’s no “right” or “wrong” amount of time for it to last.

Some guys worry that they ejaculate too early during sex — especially when they are first beginning to have sex with a partner. Early ejaculation, or premature ejaculation, means that a guy can’t control his response to the stimulation that triggers ejaculation, so he ejaculates before he wants to. Early ejaculation is fairly common in younger, less sexually experienced guys.

Guys who feel they ejaculate too early might want to share their concerns with their partners. Also, open communication with partners about likes and dislikes, and paying attention to sensation — to slow down the process of getting to the point of ejaculation — during sex can help guys delay ejaculation.

Wearing condoms can help make a guy last longer. There are special brands to help do just that.

In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)

If you are a guy, how long did your “first time” last.

If you are a girl, how long do virgins last in bed. And does this disappoint you?

I’m a guy. Not too goddamned long. Somewhere between one and five minutes. If you want me to be more exact, I’d guess around two and a half. The second time, approximately double that, and by the third or so I got it under control.

Forever. I didn’t come my first time.

I’ve slept with 2 virgins. There was a big difference in the amount of time they lasted.

Forever. I didn’t come my first time.

Thank you for that, thought I was the only one. Was your lady as impressed as mine?

My first time was pretty good time-wise, heck, it was pretty good, period. I came twice, once after 10 minutes, the second time after another 10 (probably a 5 minutes break in-between). I was ready to go for a third time, but we stopped then. I think the nightly masturbating had much to do with the control. Frankly I don’t think I’ve ever been able to come in under 5 minutes, even if I was trying to go for a serious quicky.

-Tcat

Thank you for that, thought I was the only one. Was your lady as impressed as mine?

No, she wasn’t. And that’s all I have to say about that.

My first time was pretty damned fast, like within a minute, but I remained ready for further action for quite a while as we continued for the duration.

Forever. I didn’t come my first time.

Thank you for that, thought I was the only one. Was your lady as impressed as mine?

I wasn’t even able to get it up my first time - too nervous! Luckily, she was forgiving - she said she’d seen it happen before. When I finally psyched myself up, we were at it for a couple of minutes, then a knock on the front door interrupted us. It was her ride home! :smack:

I still haven’t had the chance to redeem myself (with her or anyone else).

A few days later, I (drunkenly) confessed the whole thing to one of my friends. He told me that during his first time, he and his lady were at it like rabbits for two whole days - and he didn’t come once.

Quote: Originally Posted by Priceguy Forever. I didn’t come my first time.

Thank you for that, thought I was the only one. Was your lady as impressed as mine?

Same here. My lady friend was very impressed and grateful. The next few times, too. But then she got concerned and thought that it was her fault I wasn’t completing. That’s a bad rap to put on anyone, and I wasn’t happy about that. Fortunately, with patience and repeated trials we were able to overcome my anxieties. Caring partners are what you need.
I have to point out that, in one long session, both of us sustained friction burns on our tender areas. Sometimes longer is not better.

Didn’t actually come until my third time doing it. And yes, my partner was pretty impressed.

I didn’t until time #2. My girl was kinda impressed, I guess, but it was her first time, too. And to be fair, the reason I didn’t do it the first time was the medication I was on. The second time I was on different meds and I’d say I went for about 15 or so.

Uhm… well… let’s say it would sound better measured in seconds…
But the upside was that at that age, it didn’t take long to get back into action.

Forever. I didn’t come my first time.

What he said.

bamf

I lost my virginity to a virgin. Maybe we just exchanged virginities. Anyway, the foreplay stage lasted about six months; the act itself lasted nowhere near long enough—I would guess between three and five minutes. Now it takes me that long just to remember what it is I’m supposed to be doing.

Uhm… well… let’s say it would sound better measured in seconds…
But the upside was that at that age, it didn’t take long to get back into action.

Mine wouldn’t even sound good measured in seconds. It was a few seconds. She was understanding, for the most part.

But it gets better.

I lost my virginity to a virgin also - we were both about 14 and it only lasted a couple minutes. But I didn’t care, it was fine. Last year, I devirginized a strapping young lad who was 24, and it took him well over an hour. He was pretty nervous, I think. But it was fun - for both of us.

I was way too self-conscious to come the first time. I think it lasted about 20 minutes, but don’t extrapolate from that that it was “good”.

36,285

That’s in milli-seconds though.

I did somewhat better on turns 2 through 5. It didn’t seem to matter to her one way or another, best I can remember. It was 1965 or so.
I do remember that it wasn’t her first time. It may not have been her first time that day. Thought it was free.

Oops, should have been, “Though it was free.”

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Few things are as simultaneously enjoyable and anxiety-inducing as sexual intercourse. As soon as we start having it, the insecurity sets in. Am I doing it right? Am I big enough? Lasting long enough? The answers: “Ask your partner,” “yes,” and “very likely.”

Many of us have bought into sexual mythology—particularly when it comes to penetrative sex and the popular idea of “lasting for hours” and “going all night.” But the average desirable sex session probably lasts a shorter amount of time than you think. 

The short answer: However long you and your partner want it to. But a scientific inquiry on the subject suggests somewhere between three and 13 minutes. We’ll break it down below.

In a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, researchers asked a group of sex therapists how long sex should last (specifically, penetrative vaginal sex). The results: 1–2 minutes was judged “too short,” while 10–30 minutes was deemed “too long.” On the other hand, 3–7 minutes was rated “adequate,” and 7–13 minutes “desirable” (Corty, 2008).

Wondering how long sex actually lasts in the wild? Another study investigated that. Researchers asked 500 couples to press a stopwatch at penetration and then at ejaculation for one month. Reported durations ranged from 33 seconds to 44 minutes. But the average for vaginal sex was 3–7 minutes (Waldinger, 2005).

A caveat: “How long sex should last” depends on how you define sex. Keep in mind that these studies didn’t include foreplay, and they focused on heterosexual penetrative sex. Your mileage may vary. 

A good rule of thumb is not to let anyone else’s sex life—or what they say their sex life is—make you feel bad about your own. You do you (and/or your partner).

While sex will last different amounts of time for everyone, certain things can impact how long you last. 

As men get older, some find they take longer to get an erection, and erections are longer to maintain. Conversely, younger men might ejaculate sooner than they’d like (although that can happen at any age).  

In some cases, sexual dysfunction can impact how long you last. Specifically: 

Communicate with your partner if sex is lasting longer than you want. Talking things out is always a good place to start when something about your sex life is less than ideal. We realize that sometimes that’s easier said than done. But remember, your partner wants you to enjoy the experience too—that’s what it’s about.

Show (or tell) them what turns you on. You can touch yourself in ways that help you climax, or you can tell your partner how to stimulate you in ways you especially like. Sex toys can be a good visual aid here.

Try a favorite position that makes you orgasm. Is there a sexual position or technique that tends to help get you there? Trying that can be a good way to wrap things up to everyone’s satisfaction if the experience lasts longer than you’d like.  

Quickies can be fun—when they’re intentional. If you’re ejaculating too quickly for your or your partner’s satisfaction, there are several strategies you can try to last longer (Raveendran, 2021).

Begin sexual activity and continue until you feel almost ready to ejaculate. Then, have your partner squeeze the end of your penis, at the point where the head (glans) joins the shaft. Hold the squeeze for several seconds. The urge to ejaculate will retreat. You can do this several times in one session. 

Also known as “edging,” the stop-start method is something you can practice with a partner or as you masturbate. When you’re masturbating and feel like you’re about to come, pause until the urge to ejaculate passes. Then resume stimulating yourself. Over time, you’ll learn to recognize when you’re approaching “the point of no return” and be able to extend intercourse.

Pelvic floor exercises (also known as Kegels) help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that control ejaculation. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream. To practice Kegels, tighten the pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for three seconds, then relax for three seconds and repeat.

Some types of condoms contain a bit of numbing medication, such as lidocaine or benzocaine, on the inside. This can reduce sensation, which might make you last longer. Anesthetic creams are sold that have the same effect.

Some companies sell over-the-counter, disposable, moist towelettes (or wipes) you apply to your penis before sexual activity. They have numbing medication that can reduce sensation and help you last longer.